Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we can do. When someone hurts us deeply, it can feel impossible to let go, like an invisible weight we carry around every day. But what if holding onto that hurt is doing more harm to us than the person who wronged us? What if forgiveness isn’t about excusing someone’s behavior but about freeing ourselves from the prison of anger, resentment, and pain?
In this week’s episode of the Health & Wealth Power Hour, Harlon sat down with Katharine Giovanni, a three-time award-winning author and cancer survivor, to explore one of the most profound and personal topics we all face: forgiveness.
We’ve all heard the phrase “forgive and forget,” but how many of us actually understand the process of forgiveness, let alone feel capable of it? For many, forgiveness seems like giving someone who wronged you a free pass. But as Katharine explains, true forgiveness is a gift you give yourself—it’s about clearing the mental and emotional clutter that’s holding you back.
Why Forgiveness Matters for Your Health
Forgiveness is often framed as a moral obligation or a spiritual act. However, Katharine brings a fresh perspective, linking it directly to our mental and physical well-being. She stresses that your emotional and mental health are deeply connected to your physical health. Holding onto anger, resentment, and bitterness creates stress that manifests in both the body and mind.
Since the pandemic, more people are openly discussing mental health, which includes tackling the emotional baggage we carry around every day. Katharine emphasizes that forgiving others—or even yourself—can have a tremendous positive impact on your overall health.
Forgiveness Is a Process, Not a Magic Wand
Katharine is clear on one thing: forgiveness isn’t easy, and it isn’t instant. In fact, it’s a process that many of us avoid because we don’t know where to start. Most of us immediately think of the hardest, most painful experiences when we hear the word “forgiveness,” but that’s not where Katharine advises beginning.
Her method suggests starting small. She describes it as “peeling an onion,” where you work through smaller grievances—like forgiving the person who cut you off in traffic or the co-worker who took your lunch. As you build momentum, you’ll find it easier to address the deeper wounds.
How to Start Forgiving: A Step-by-Step Guide
Katharine’s process is unique because it doesn’t demand reconciliation or interaction with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to call them, write them a letter, or meet for coffee. Instead, you can forgive privately, in the comfort of your own space.
Her method involves addressing not just the person, but also the energy around the situation. For example, you could forgive not only the individual who wronged you but also the environment in which it happened—whether that’s the place, the time, or even the memories associated with it.
Here’s how you can start:
- Make a List: Write down the people, places, or situations you want to forgive. Rate them from 1 to 10, with 1 being something minor and 10 being a major hurt.
- Start Small: Begin by forgiving the 1s—the smaller offenses that don’t carry much emotional weight.
- Address the Energy: Alongside forgiving the person, forgive the “energy” around the situation. This can include the place where it happened or even objects that trigger the memory.
- Repeat the Process: Work through your list, gradually addressing the deeper wounds.
What if the person you need to forgive most is yourself? Katharine acknowledges that self-forgiveness can be the hardest of all. Her advice? Start by forgiving yourself for not being able to forgive. This simple step begins to ease the emotional burden and sets you on a path toward healing.
The Science Behind It
Katharine backs up her method with some interesting science. She references the famous Japanese water study by Dr. Masaru Emoto, which showed that positive and negative energy can affect the molecular structure of water. If words and energy can change water, imagine what they do to our bodies, which are made up of around 60% water.
This highlights the toxic effects of harboring anger and resentment. When we forgive, we literally change our body chemistry, allowing our cells to heal and opening ourselves up to new opportunities in life.
The Benefits of Letting Go
Forgiveness doesn’t just free up emotional space; it allows you to see life more clearly. When you’re not bogged down by anger, you can focus on the positive things in life—whether that’s improving your health, finding the right job, or deepening relationships.
“Hate will get you only so far and love will get you all the way.” – Katharine Giovanni
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we have for improving our mental, emotional, and physical health. Katharine Giovanni’s innovative approach gives us a new way to think about forgiveness—not as something we do for others, but as a gift we give ourselves.
Be sure to check out Katherine Giovanni’s book, The Ultimate Path to Forgiveness: Unlocking Your Power, where she outlines her step-by-step method to help you release the emotional burdens holding you back and transform your life for the better. Available now in print and audio formats.
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